Writing Your Own Vows

Head piece by May and Grace

The truest form of love is the unconditional kind. Writing your own wedding vows can offer your guests a glance into you and your partners genuine love. The purpose of your wedding vows is to make promises to your loved one about your commitment and love for them. Naturally there seems to be a lot of pressure with vows, after all how do you sum up love, dreams, memories and stories with your partner in a matter of minutes? Do you go with tried and tested traditional romantic vows or choose something contemporary and unique? Firstly, a vow exchange should not be seen as a writing competition, you should agree on expectations and the following:

How long should your vows be?

Will they be more traditional and sentimental or humorous and contemporary?

Do you want to include elements of tradition and religion in them? For example, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.

Should we keep things generic or include personal stories and inside jokes?

Photography by Fineshade Films

Wedding Vow Guide

- Start by making notes to get you inspired. Think about when you first met, how you knew they were the one, what promises do you want to make, what makes you smile when you think of them and what marriage means to you.

- Start early. Don’t wait until the last minute. Once you have these notes, you can start polishing them and turning them into vows. You do not need to include everything

- Don’t forget to reassure your partner. That you will be there for them even when times become turbulent.

- Wrap up your vows by looking to the future. Think about goals and aspirations, what are you looking forward to sharing with this person in life?

- Remember to say ' I love you'. The most important three words are often left out.

- Practise reading your vows out loud

Example Vows

You don’t know what you are for me or to me. Your imperfections and experiences make you unique. I lost my way in this world all the way to you, and in you I found my way back to myself again. When you fall for someone’s personality, everything else becomes beautiful and tumbles into position.

When your voice whispers in my ear, my heart palpitates, and your lips gently touch my soul. There is a lifetime of ‘happy tears’ which I was unknown to, until I met you.

When you connect with someone, not just on the surface of yourself, but in a way that makes you want to make them a home within you – that stays with you. We all have different rooms in our hearts dedicated to those we once loved or currently do, and those rooms are filled with the echoes of our past.

You carry a huge storage of emotion and information, and your storage capacity is exponentially increasing infinitely. You are wise beyond your years, and you have the ability to see deep within my mind, noticing the details and exploring me holistically. You translate the pain in me when everyone else witnesses the smile, and still you manage to love me. Whatever I do, and wherever I go the map in my heart always leads back to you. You colour me in.

I vow to always protect you from harm when I can, to cherish you as my husband without judgement and I promise to support and encourage all your dreams in life. I see these vows not as promises but as privileges.

We are just creatures under a field of stars in a blanket of lacuna trying to get it right. The thing that makes it magic is no one knows the answer to love but I have now realised no one had really touched me before you. I found the strongest friendship in you. Someone I can laugh with, the kind of laughter that makes your belly ache and your nose snort. The embarrassing and healing kind of laugh. I long to laugh more with you as we grow old together, falling for you a little more each day. A love, I believe, that will never dilute – even when the water becomes deep and dark. Love still remains. It endures amidst the fragility of this world and continues to surprise you when you least expect it, in a world of wavering chaos. How? I do not know, but you see more in my soul than I ever thought there was to see. I love you to these stars and back, I know deep down that we were married before this day.

Dress by May and Grace

Baring your heart to your loved one, in front of your closest friends and family can be seen as very intimidating, but if you’re up for the challenge, it is well worth it. Adding the ultimate personal touch to your wedding day, it won't be one to forget.